Thursday, February 11, 2010

American Pride........

By end of this year, seniors will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting program.

I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?
A. Shut up or you won't get your check.

Below is some information on what your stimulus check may actually stimulate:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
4. If you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to paymanagement bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in America by:

1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring American prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.

These appear to be the only wholly-American- owned businesses still
operating in the US


The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a
prostitute that you met at a yard sale, then drink
beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

(thanks $cotty B.)

No comments: